False Gospel

Nick Diaz blew it.

Diaz is one of the best 170-pound fighters in the entire world and he’s not even 30 years old. For the past year or so he has been lobbying for a title shot in the UFC and a few months back he got it. Last week he was a no-show at two scheduled events meant to promote his upcoming fight with champion Georges St. Pierre. After the second no-show, UFC president Dana White removed Diaz from the title fight and gave the opportunity to someone else.

The fruit of years and years of hard work, bleeding and trash talk rotted on the vine.

I’ve thought a lot about Nick Diaz over the past several days. I’ve wondered to myself what would make a very talented fighter like Diaz walk away from the greatest opportunity of his career. It wasn’t to join the Navy or to be a missionary. So what was it?

Was he afraid? Maybe it was a fear of the spotlight or even a fear of success that got to Diaz.

Was it all the pressure? Maybe it all finally got to him and he couldn’t take the onslaught of mindless questions again so skipping out on his contractual obligations seemed like a good idea.

There has also been talk of some type of social anxiety disorder, similar to what made Ricky Williams do interviews with his helmet on when he first got into the NFL. That almost certainly has to play a part in Diaz’s decision.

I don’t know Diaz’s life story but I do know that he grew up with no dad around and that he got into martial arts at a young age so that he could defend himself against the bullies that seemed to always be gunning for him. For Diaz, fighting was a way out. Like so many other fatherless young athletes in our country, his sport was his gospel. And as we have seen season after season, the Gospel of Sports is a false gospel.

At the youngest of ages, our kids find out that their ability to play a sport well could get them on a better rec. team, a starting spot as a freshman on the high school varsity team, a college scholarship and afterwards[1] a substantial payday for playing a game. Like most false gospels, this one looks really good at first glance. There’s certainly nothing wrong with excelling at a sport and scoring a college scholarship and a nice payday for your talents[2]. But the danger of the gospel of sports lies in what you are not told.

The Gospel of Sports doesn’t tell you that you are not your talent. Brady, Manning and Vick were created in the image of God just like every other human being and one day they will stand before their Creator, not as men who had rocket arms and the ability to change plays at the line of scrimmage but as men who either stand in their own righteousness (Matthew 25:41-46) or the righteousness of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

The Gospel of Sports doesn’t tell you that your talent will one day betray you. Manny Ramirez was once a young, power hitting phenom with a few quirks. At the end of his career he was an old[3] guy with a pretty good bat and a lot of quirks that was forced into retirement because he couldn’t pass a steroid test. Now he’s got a judge telling him that he can’t have contact with his wife because he allegedly slapped her during an argument. Brett Favre was once a player with the talent of a superhero and the passion of a kid. By the end of his career he was an old guy[4] that hung around too long. The man who once reminded us of kids playing ball in the front yard began to remind us more of the Jehovah’s Witnesses that wont get off of your porch at 8:00 in the morning.

The Gospel of Sports doesn’t tell you that you are the manager of your talent, not the owner. God, in his infinite wisdom and sovereignty, gave Nick Diaz the ability to box, grapple and run triathlons at an elite level. In his wisdom, God gave Dwayne Wade the ability to drive to the basket and convince other skilled players to come and play on his team. And he has also given me my talents[5]. But whatever talents we have been given we do well to remember that we are not the owner of those talents. They have been given to us for a reason and that reason goes way beyond “I’d like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for allowing me to win this Grammy for my song about stealing a man’s wife and drugs.” Taking full ownership of your talents is a guarantee that your talents will one day take full ownership of you until, like the tick on a dog, both the host and the parasite are dead.

The Gospel of Sports forgets to tell us that the final score is important but not the most important thing. Keeping score is important, yea, even essential in sports.

“Dad, who won my game?”

“Son, we all won today.”

That may look good on a poster in your Sunday School class but it is a waste of a sport. Winning and losing at a young age can teach a kid how to win and lose well as an adult. It’s better to correct a 6 year-old who can’t handle losing than it is a grown man. It’s much easier to teach a toddler how to win with dignity than it is an adult. This is why keeping score is important.

But the final score (and stats for that matter) aren’t of the utmost importance. We have seen many elite athletes stand before Congress to give an account for the coincidence that they finally became power hitters at a time in their career when most athletes their age are in decline and also why their foreheads are suddenly bulging, their shoe size has gone up and they turn green when you make them angry. All that to say, you can win and succeed in sports and still be a lousy person.

The Gospel of Sports always focuses on the final score and the career stats. But the real gospel, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, focuses on the heart. It offends us by showing us that regardless of our success as athletes, accountants, pastors, or whatever else, we are failures because of sin. And this failure isn’t just a dropped pass or air ball free throw. It’s something that comes from the very core of our being and makes itself known in such a way that no talent on earth can hide it. But the offense of the gospel is what leads us to the cross. At the cross we see that our significance is not found in our talent but in a Savior who was crushed on our behalf (Romans 5:6-8).

My sons are at the beginning of their sporting lives. I get the privilege of seeing them play and I even get to help coach. I hope they do well in sports. I’d love to see them excel. But even if they make it to the pros I hope I lead them in a way that they are constantly reminded that they will stop playing some day. And if that day when they stop playing happens to be next year, I want them to know that their dad loves them no matter what. But more importantly, I want them to be men who love Jesus Christ with all that they have, whether or not that includes a world title.

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[1] Unless the child plays college ball for Miami, Ohio State or Auburn in which case the substantial paydays occur all throughout college.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Late 30s. This is old in sports and I don’t like it.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Standing and drinking sweet tea are just a few. I could go on but don’t want to brag.

Bold Predictions: Ugly Uniforms, Peyton Manning and Baby Seals

Before we get to the bold predictions, let’s start with an open letter to the NCAA.

Dear NCAA,

I know how much you love rules. You don’t care if the rules are too burdensome or even contradictory. Most college football fans hate your fascination with rules but I speak on behalf of fans everywhere in asking you to add just one more command to your already enormous rulebook. You know all the legalese so feel free to add words like hitherto, therefore and asunder to make things sound legit. But here’s the basic skeletal structure I’m looking for.

Teams are no longer allowed to switch up their uniforms every week. Simple home and away jerseys will suffice. Also, it would be great if those uniforms matched.

Oh, and could you please place the Oregon Ducks on probation for 5 or 6 years since they seem to be the ones that got this whole thing started?

Thanks!

Concerned Fan

If there’s one lesson we learned this past weekend it is that the uniforms in college football are out of control. What’s going on here?

Under Armour Rep: Hey, you should think about some new uniforms for your home opener.

Maryland Athletic Director: Sure, we’ll take every advantage we can get. What do they look like?

Under Armour Rep: Well, it’s hard to explain but try to picture a cross between something someone would wear at the Renaissance Festival and a taxicab.

Maryland Athletic Director: Where do I sign?

The bad news is that Maryland won so we may have to see these uniforms again. But know this Terps, the 1970s Atlanta Braves and 1980s Milwaukee Bucks said to tell you thanks for taking over their place as the ugliest sports team of all time.

Things didn’t work out so well for the Georgia Bulldogs and their new uniforms.

Nike Rep: Hey, you should think about some new uniforms for your season opener.

UGA Athletic Director: I don’t know. We usually get beat when we start messing around with our uniforms too much.

Nike Rep: I understand where you’re coming from. But these are all red and look like something a little league team would wear.

UGA Athletic Director: Hmmmmm. If you can make it where the helmets fall off too easy you’ve got yourself a deal.

Don’t expect to see these uniforms again, unless you happen to be a fan of a semi-pro team in Albania.

Enough with what we learned last weekend. Here’s what you can expect from the week that awaits us in college football.

The Lions will still be the Lions.

A week or two before the NFL season starts, fans and analysts alike say this to themselves, “If I pick the Lions to be good this year, and by some cataclysmic event[1] they happen to win their division or earn a wild card spot, I’ll look like a genius.” And all it takes is about three or four of the right people pushing the Lions down our throats for us to start buying stock in the Lions. But in the words of Chuck D., don’t believe the hype. The Lions will always be the Lions. My guess is that the wheels will start to fall off of the Lions Are Going to the Super Bowl Wagon around the 10:23 mark of the second quarter of this weekend’s opener.

This week’s score: Tampa Bay 11, Detroit 5[2]

Michael Irvin’s head will explode.

If you don’t get the NFL Network, you should get it for no other reason than Mr. Michael Irvin. For the record, I hate the Miami Hurricanes and the Dallas Cowboys but I love Michael Irvin. There is no other analyst in the NFL more passionate about the game than Michael Irvin. I’m not sure how I feel about life coaches but if I ever need one, Michael Irvin will be getting a tweet from me. Verizon, why is there still not an app that allows me to hear a motivational speech from Michael Irvin every morning before I get out of bed? Make this right!

Parents will have some explaining to do.

For the first time in 227 games, Peyton Manning will not be playing for the Indianapolis Colts. This is a tragedy for the 3.7 million parents in our country who name their kids after Peyton Manning each year. During that 227 game streak, father and son conversations went a little something like this.

“Son, you see that quarterback there, the one that just threw for 300 yards and 4 touchdowns? That’s who we named you after. No go do something successful.

“You bet, dad. Oh, and I love you.”

This year, the conversation will look a little more like this.

“Dead-ee[3], why'd you name me Peyton?”

“Well son, we named you after that guy they keep showing on the sidelines. The one that’s not wearing a uniform but is still yelling at everyone.”

Child walks away dejected and considers devoting his life to video slot machines.

But parents, don’t worry too much. At least you didn’t name your kid O.J. Here’s to hoping that Jeff Saturday doesn’t own a white Bronco.

Lou Holtz will say something weird.

Just trust me on this one.

The English language will be brutalized.

Here are some common examples of the marriage between football and improper speech. You can expect to see and hear things like these a lot more for the next 20 0r so weeks.

“We” – Dudes that are either way too big or way to skinny like to use this one when referring to their team. “We can’t block!” or “We win!” are two of the most common. If these same dudes manage their money well, they eventually get to be the owner of the Washington Redskins where they can legitimately use the we phrase.

“If” – This is another fan favorite. It’s always used by fans of losing teams that have yet to realize that they are in fact fans of a losing team. My personal favorite is, “Well, if we played them 10 times we’d beat them at least 6.” Georgia Tech fans are typically prone to use if in referring to their team’s mishaps.

“We’ve just gotta go out and take it one game at a time.” – Athletes are taught to use this phrase sometime before they enter college. I have no idea what it looks like for a team to take it two games at a time.

“It is what it is.” – This is a favorite among athletes, especially after they’ve a.) intercepted a ball but scored in the wrong end zone, or b.) killed someone. The it is what it is phrase makes all transgressions go away. “Oh, so you’re saying that it is what it is. Thanks for the clarification.”

“Misquoted” – This happens after an athlete says something dumb and a member of the media happens to be close enough to report on it. The athlete in question is able to smooth things over by saying that he was misquoted. Twitter really makes being misquoted interesting. “So let me get this straight. When you tweeted, ‘the Holocaust never happened & I’ll be leading a riot @ the mall sometime around 2pm’ you misquoted yourself?” “Exactly.”

The Dawgs win big.

I’m not referring to the game against South Carolina on Saturday night. Victory there for the Dawgs is becoming more and more uncertain. South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier has a demented talent for inflicting serious damage upon the University of Georgia and a win this weekend would do just that.

The win I’m referring to is the lack of police activity around Athens lately. Usually, the summer and early fall sees a high rate of arrests among Georgia players but not this year (so far). The Dawgs need a win where they can get it and this is one worth having.

Also, in the highly likely event that a player is caught driving around town on a suspended license with a blood alcohol content of 1.0, he’s always driving a scooter (without a helmet). That’s another sign of a clean program. No Escalades or BMWs for these guys. Take that, Nevin Shapiro.

Jack Del Rio will club a baby seal during half time of this weekend’s Jags Titans game.

Here’s the scenario.

Step One: Coach Jack Del Rio has long time starting quarterback, David Garrard go out to speak to Chamber of Commerce in an effort to help drum up support for a struggling franchise.

Step Two: Garrard does as he is told, even going so far as to hug the teams annoying mascot.

Step Three: Garrard returns from his assignment to find that he has been cut by Coach Del Rio.

Yes, this really happened.

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[1] A runaway train that shuts down half of the country thus forcing the Packers, Bears and Vikings to forfeit 10 of their games.

[2] If that turns out not to be the final score of this weekend’s game, just know that I was really referring to the Rays and the Tigers.

[3] Southern for dad, this term is a cousin to pawpaw and momma.

2011 Football Forecast

Sports Illustrated writer Peter King predicted this week that the Atlanta Falcons will beat the San Diego Chargers to win Super Bowl XLVI. This is already a big win for both franchises. I hope Peter King is right but just in case, there’s already talk of a victory parade through downtown Atlanta sometime this weekend. The whole premature celebration thing almost worked out for the Miami Heat and at this point, Atlanta sports franchises will take any championship they can get, real or predicted.

Here are a few more things you can expect from the upcoming college and pro football seasons.

A Big Year For Notre Dame

Traditional powerhouses like Alabama, Florida and Ohio State will not do well this season. By that I mean that they may lose three games. But a three loss season is just what it takes to get The Fightin’ Irish into the national title picture. In fact, there is a better than 75% chance that Notre Dame will be the first team in the history of college football to lose three games, make it to the national title game, lose that game too and still win the national championship. You heard it here first.

A Bad Year For The ACC

By midseason Florida State, Clemson and Virginia Tech will announce their departure from the conference for the greener pastures of the SEC. Maryland, North Carolina and Duke will petition the NCAA to make basketball a year round sport. Georgia Tech will eliminate its athletic department all together in order to focus more time and money on getting really good at College Jeopardy. The Miami Hurricanes will take their considerable resources and experience with them and join the Taliban. They will still be suspended for the first six months of their membership.

A Bad Year For Kirk Herbstreit Takes A Turn For The Better

The Ohio State Buckeyes will have a bad year and fire new head coach Luke Fickell midway through the season. Following a legend like Jim Tressell never works out well but when you have a name like Luke Fickell it turns out even worse. The usually fair and balanced Herbstreit will not take this well and will not shy away from making his frustrations publicly known. By about the third game of the season, Herby will be named as Fickell’s replacement. He will keep his jobs as an analyst on ESPN College Gameday and color commentator for ABC’s Saturday night game.

And Speaking Of ESPN’s College Gameday

They will continue making dudes cry. Each week, you can expect a story that starts off a little something like this.

The University of Memphis’ unofficial mascot was an old mutt affectionately named Scooter. Scooter showed up at practice one day and never seemed to leave, until the day that The US Army requested his services for their bomb patrol unit in Iraq. Although Scooter never made it back from his call of duty, his spirit stuck around the Memphis locker room to help one player who was told that he’d never play football again.

And The Final Score Of Your 2011-2012 National Championship Game Is…

…Georgia 34, Florida State 31.

(But watch out for Notre Dame.)

A League Of Their Own

Over in the pros, ESPN will petition the NFL to make the Dallas Cowboys play the New York Giants every game of the season. This petition will be granted but both teams will still somehow find a way to go 3 and 13 on the season.

Lions

I have no idea who the Lions are playing on Thanksgiving Day but I can tell you two things.

1. I will ramble on and on all morning to my sons about how much of an important tradition this game is.

2. By the second quarter when the score is Detroit 3, _________ 42, I'll ask them if they want to watch Veggie Tales instead.

And the Final Score of Super Bowl XLVI Is…

…the Atlanta Falcons 21, the Baltimore Ravens 17.

(But again, watch out for Notre Dame.)

On Footloose, Beaches and a Theology of Vacations

The family vacation has come under attack. When you speak of something as devastatingly selfish as a family vacation, you should be prepared to defend yourself from at least two different points of attack. It goes a little something like this.

The Financial Guru Follower:

“Oh, you’re going on vacation? (This is always said with a very concerned look. You know, the look your 5^th grade Sunday School teacher gives you when she finds out you stayed up all last night watching wrestling. I call it the Bless Your Heart Look. It’s her way of saying that she thinks you’re an idiot.) We’ve decided to skip our family vacations until our mortgage is paid off, we have at least 6 years of salary set aside and we are able to help pay off some of the federal government’s debt. But I sure hope you have fun.” (This wishing us fun is closely related to the “We wish him the best” phrase NFL owners use when they fire a head coach for going 3-13 for 3 years straight and a distant cousin of the “I don’t think it’s God’s will” phrase college kids use when they break up with each other.)

Keith Green’s Little Brother[1]:

“Oh, you’re going on vacation? So what will you be doing, feeding homeless kids in Atlanta? Helping Sudanese refugees develop basic job skills? Oh, body boarding? I wish you the best but I don’t think that this is God’s will (grabs smart phone and iPad[2] and leaves, outraged at your materialism).

Certainly both of these groups have legitimate points that we should pay attention to. If you’re funding your vacation on your credit card and hoping that Jesus comes back before the bill is due, you should get things in order before rolling out to the beach. If you are living your life for the next getaway while neglecting the needs of the poor and hurting, you should repent. But we go too far when we delay any shred of present day joy or relaxation in hopes of saving up for some time down the road when every minute detail is in order and the world can manage without us. How sure are you that that day will even come (Ecclesiastes 3:9-15)?

As a pastor, planning family vacations can be even more difficult.

“You only work one day a week. Why do you need a vacation?”

“Man, what are we paying you? I wish I could afford a vacation?”

“I had to have some surgery[3] while you were away on vacation last week (said with Bless Your Heart Look).”

It’s important for pastors to show their wife and kids that they come before the church. A family vacation isn’t enough to show this but it certainly helps. The cold hard truth is this. You can pile up all the 70-hour work weeks you want but there will still be people in your church who think you’re not working hard enough. When pastors sacrifice their families in order to please their congregation they usually end up with broken families, spoiled congregations, poor health and a strained relationship with Jesus. If you really care about your congregation, get your family together and get away from them for a few weeks out of the year. It will refresh your family and it will remind your congregation that one way or another, at some point in time, you wont be their pastor anymore.

And last week that’s just what the Sanders family did in St. Augustine, Florida. As I’ve said before, St. Augustine dominates Panama City, the beach of choice for most people from my neck of the woods. Here are a few reasons why.

1. Waves

There are no waves in the gulf. In the Atlantic I was able to teach my son how to boogie board. It’s always fun teaching your kid how to do something that you don’t know how to do. This was a memorable moment that wouldn’t have happened in the gulf.

2. No Cowboy Hats on the Beach

I can’t find it but I know it’s there. There’s got to be an article in the Constitution of the United States that prohibits people who are not from Texas from wearing cowboy hats on the beach. Why is it necessary to do this? Again, if you’re from Texas, I get it but it just doesn’t work for anyone else. I blame Kenny Chesney. Thanks for nothing, Kenny.

3. History

St. Augustine is America’s first city. It’s origins date back to the 1500s. There’s a huge fort there that’s been around since the 1600s and is made out of some weird mixture of sand and seashells. There’s more to St. Augustine than just a bunch of sky rise hotels and shrimp restaurants. People actually live there and have done so for hundreds of years.

If you were to take a guided tour of the city of St. Augustine you’d learn about the layout of the city, famous battles and architectural influences.

If you were to take a guided tour of Panama City, this is what you would hear.

“See that right there? That’s where my deadee (father) bought my mama her first airbrush t-shirt. It said ‘Donnie ~n~ Lillian 4-ever’.

“Oh, and over there’s where I saw one of the girls from Teen Mom. She was checking me out.”

4. Signs

The signs on the beach in Panama City say, "Protected Area. Please keep out of dunes."

The signs on the beach in St. Augustine say, "Please keep out. There are poisonous snakes in the sand dunes."

This is the more efficient use of signage. See for yourself in the following example.

Example A: "Caution, Wet Floor"

Example B: "Caution, Wet Floor and there's a rattlesnake over in the corner."

Which sign are you more likely to obey?

5. Footloose

This movie edges out Point Break for the best worst movie of all-time and John Lithgow is the reason why. He plays the fightin’ fundie, small town, Midwestern pastor whose two favorite things to do are banning (in this case dancing) and burning (in this case books but I’m sure there were a few Led Zeppelin albums thrown in the fire with all of those copies of Slaughterhouse Five).

It’s been said before that the old school fundamentalists never had any fun, focused too much on the damn and not enough on the mental. Lithgow was able to channel that for this role and he hit the ball out of the park. Other than Robert Duval’s role in the Apostle, this is the finest job in the history of movies that any actor has ever done in playing a pastor[4]. I’m pretty sure that there are still a few seminaries around that tell students, “Look, when in doubt, do what the preacher in Footloose did.”

You can bet that when Hollywood remakes this movie, Shia LaBeouf will play Kevin Bacon’s old part since for some reason he gets to be the star in every movie we all wanted to be in as kids (Transformers, Indiana Jones etc…). Also, if Lil’ Wayne isn’t in the remake I’ll be conducting a DVD burning of this movie in my church parking lot. Maybe he could be the pastor.

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[1] For the record, I’m a huge fan of Keith Green, just not of the guy who tries to be Keith Green by making you feel guilty for owning a car and not having 20 homeless people living in your basement. Hence the term Keith Green’s Little Brother

[2] Also a fan of smart phones and iPads.

[3] Root Canal

[4] Apologies to whatever preachers may have appeared in those Facing the Firefighter movies they show at churches.

An Exegetical Analysis of GI Joe

Saturday was Man Day at our house. That means that my sons and I didn’t wear shirts, wrestled, ate hot dogs and listened to Credence Clearwater Revival. For about six hours, our lovely home looked more like a day care that was being run by the cast of Swamp People. As part of our Man Day festivities, we watched a cartoon called GI Joe: Renegades. I grew up watching GI Joe cartoons so I was hyped when my sons wanted to watch this one. I didn’t know anything about this new version but it couldn’t be that different from the one I knew and loved as a child.

What follows is my assessment of GI Joe: Renegades. Expect to be moved as you read this. As a result of this analysis, it is likely that the whole debt ceiling issue will be worked out, your kids wont need braces and you’ll enjoy a fuller, greener lawn. So sit back and enjoy the genius that is GI Joe: Renegades.

The title of this episode is Revelations Part 1. The very first scene is a woman with black hair and black glasses getting off an airplane. She is a bad guy. We know this because the bad guys in GI Joe cartoons always have dark hair. This is how I broke it down for my son as he continuously asked who was a good guy and who was a bad guy. Apparently, this is a very imp0rtant question for kids his age.

A few scenes later we see an old video of a professor in some laboratory. This is reminiscent of the Dharma Initiative scenes from Lost. My guess is that every character on this show is actually already dead and once the Joes and the Cobras learn to get along, they’ll all meet up in some weird looking church. Just a hunch.

We are quickly introduced to another bad guy. We know that this guy is bad because his head is made out of metal. In GI Joe cartoons, if you see a guy with a metal head, he’s evil. As a side note, this also holds true for real life. People with metal heads are up to no good. The one on this episode also wears a coat and tie. He’s evil but handsomely evil. That’s especially dangerous. The girl with the black hair and black glasses, while also evil, doesn’t like the guy with the metal head. Evil people in GI Joe cartoons can never get along. That’s one reason why they never get the upper hand on the Joes.

Cue intro montage. There’s lots of graphics that probably looked really cool in 1993 and we are introduced to the Joes by a narrarator that says, “Accused of a crime they didn’t commit, a rag tag band of fugitives fights a battle to clear their names…”

Stop.

Since when did GI Joe stop being GI Joe and start being The A Team? To make matters worse, the Joes are led by a buff looking blonde dude (blonde always equals goodness in GI Joe cartoons) and the rest of the team is made up of a big, muscular black guy (think Mr. T) and a skinny, wise cracking white dude (think Murdoch). The Joes even drive a cool van just like the A Team did. The only difference is that the Joes have a girl on their team with red hair (red is a neutral color in GI Joe cartoons so keep your eye out for this one, she may turn on you, Joes). So imagine if the A Team started hanging out with Scooby Doo’s friends and you’ve got GI Joe: Renegades. “And I would have gotten away with melting the sun with this cool laser beam I invented if it weren’t for you pesky kids, I mean rag tag band of fugitives.”

The story line of the show basically centers around the red headed girl that’s with the Joes. Her name is Scarlett and her dad was, along with being a jerky dad, a scientist that worked for, get this, Cobra. Remember what I said about keeping your eyes peeled for people with red hair in GI Joe cartoons. As you can imagine, this girl had serious daddy issues. This makes the episode take a drastic turn away from the A Team and towards an episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place that “tackles the tough issues.” You’ve seen the commercials. “Tonight at 8, Hannah Montana tries to hide an acne flair up from her dream date. (Goofy voice over suddenly gets real serious) And then on a very special episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, the kids are faced with a tough decision about (insert hot topic here: gang violence, drugs, global warming).”

It takes about half of the 30 minute episode before the Joes stop “tackling tough issues” and start firing guns. Yes, they actually have guns. This was a pleasant surprise. I was expecting the Joes on this new version to sit and talk with the Cobras instead of shoot at them. Oh, and these guns are legit. And when they hit the bad guys, it actually kills them. That’s one thing that always confused me about the old Joe cartoons. “No wonder they can’t ever beat Cobra. Every time they shoot down one of his planes the guy parachutes out.” Not in GI Joe: Renegades. Finally, score one for the new version.

There are several commercial breaks during this episode and each one begins with one or all of the Joes caught in a really bad spot, just like the original. When the commercials come on you’re left thinking, “Great, the Joes are all going to die. Now I’ve got to find a new cartoon.” You’d think one would grow wise to such trickery but no, I still thought it on this version and yes, they still made it out okay.

Also in this episode, we get to find out a little bit more about my favorite GI Joe member when I was a kid, Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes is a ninja and the coolest Joe ever. When we played on the playground at school every kid wanted to be Snake Eyes. Well, in this episode we find out that Snake Eyes doesn’t talk. No big deal. Ninjas aren’t much for chatter. But we also find out that Snake Eyes has, get this, blonde hair. What?! You can’t have a blonde haired ninja. This never works out. It’s always lame. Just ask this guy.

So in conclusion to my cultural analysis I would not recommend GI Joe: Renegades due to its attempt to tackle tough issues and its reckless uses of ninjas with blonde hair. Also, any show with the name Renegade in it that fails to some how pay homage to the original Renegade is not worth your viewing time.

And now you know to keep your kids away from GI Joe: Renegades and knowing is half the battle.

God Is Faithful

Earlier this month I celebrated my 36^th birthday. If you forgot a gift, it’s okay. Just stop reading this right now and head on over to this site to pick me up a little something nice. Thank you.

One of my first thoughts when I woke up on the morning of my birthday was on God’s faithfulness. As I gave a quick scan over the last 36 years of my life, I thought about how I had to deal with my parents splitting up before I was even five, spending most of my school years as a latchkey kid (Is that even legal anymore?) and now leading a family of my own. God has been faithful through it all.

As my day continued, God’s faithfulness became even more evident. I got out of bed early that day and went for one of the longest and best runs of my life. When I got home, I was greeted by the smell of breakfast cooking, hugs from my two sons and a kiss from my wife. All three came to me with gifts and cards and pictures in their hands.

After breakfast, I rushed off to our town’s housing authority where our church had been working with kids and families all weak by teaching them the gospel, sharing food and playing games. I got to tell these kids and their families about how through faith and repentance in Christ we can call God our Father. The kids in this group were as young as 4 and as old as 12. Each one of them sat side by side and hung on my every word. I was in my element. It was great. God is faithful.

When my day was over, I met back up with my family for my oldest son’s soccer game that went something like this. Afterwards we ate Chick-fil-a, ice cream and homemade pie. To top it all off, I got word later in the day that the most pathetic team in all of college football, check that, all of sports, was placed on probation and forced to vacate its already meaningless conference championship from a few years back.

Before I went to bed that night, I went for a walk through the meadow where I drank from a brook with a dear and laughed as a blue bird ate berries from my hand.

You get the point. It was a good day and my first thoughts of that day regarding God and his faithfulness were quite appropriate.

But, what if?

What if I would have tripped over a rock just after starting my morning run, wiped out (Yes, it’s happened to me but you can’t prove anything. This is not an admission of guilt.) and had to cut my run off early, licking my wounds all the way back home?

What if instead or returning home to the sound of my family laughing and food sizzling, there would have been no noise, no pitter patter of little feet on the floor, no kiss from a wife and no pictures to post on Facebook?

What if, like my older brother, there would have been no first birthday, much less a 36^th one? If, like him, I had been born with severe deformities and died shortly after coming into the world, would this have done anything to chip away at God’s faithfulness?

Absolutely not. But why?

I have a tendency to think of God as being faithful for 36 years, 11 days and counting. In other words, I have been known to make the mistake of judging whether or not God is faithful by how good things are going for me. It’s easy for me to proclaim God’s faithfulness while I’m high as a kite from a great morning run but it’s also easy for me to doubt that very same God’s faithfulness when his agenda doesn’t exactly cooperate with mine.

Scripture shows us a God who has been faithful before time began and who will continue to be faithful after time as we know it has come to a screeching halt.

We see his faithfulness in his perfect Triune fellowship before creation (Genesis 1:1).

We see it in his promise to deliver humanity from the mess we got ourselves into (Genesis 3:15; Matthew 1:21).

We see that God is faithful when he makes an unusual promise to a seemingly random man and keeps that promise (Genesis 12; Galatians 3:29).

And we will one day see that faithfulness in all of it glory as we enjoy the perfect, eternal rule of Christ (Romans 8:18-25; Revelation 21:22-22:5).

By God’s good grace, may we not stop with just our birthdays as we consider the faithfulness of God. For an even fuller picture, let’s look further to the birth, murder and resurrection of Jesus Christ as a fulfillment of God’s promises to his people.

God is faithful.

Hip-Hop: A Personal History

“Basketball is my favorite sport. I love the way that they dribble up and down the court. Just like I’m the king on the microphone so is Dr. J and Moses Malone.”

Basketball by Kurtis Blow

If my memory serves me correctly Kurtis Blow’s Basketball was the first rap I ever heard in my life. I’ve been hooked ever since. As a side note, the video for this song is perhaps one of the most unintentionally hilarious videos of all-time complete with dudes dunking on 3-foot goals and ninjas doing Gymkata in the middle of some inner city basketball game. I would rap this song in my head while I shot hoops in my neighborhood. There was never any Gymkata.

As I grew up, so did hip-hop. Raps about cars, basketball and food were quickly replaced with songs that centered on having sex, bragging about having sex, wanting to have sex and bragging about wanting to have sex. The Beastie Boys got the ball rolling in this direction with their debut album, License to Ill. Luther Campbell and the 2 Live Crew picked up the ball and ran with it all the way to some bank in Miami. The Beastie Boys would go on to somewhat regret the perversions of their first two albums but the monster had been created and it is still with us today.

Not too long after rap music began its downward spiral into sexual perversion another stream of rap came along that was also headed in the wrong direction. You probably know it as gangsta rap. This is the kind of music that made middle-class white kids all of the sudden hate everything and want to join a gang. When they couldn’t find a gang to join due to the fact that the Bloods and Crips had yet to franchise out to the suburbs, they just made up their own gangs. There’s not a whole lot in this world funnier than seeing relatively rich white dudes with names like Stephan (pronounced Steff-haan), Chandler (first name), and Brooks (also first name) ride around town in Geo Trackers with matching warm up suits that say things on their back like Rock Boys or Spur Posse.

But what was simply an imitation in the suburbs was a reality in the inner city. That’s always been the debate. Does art influence culture or is it simply a product of it? In this case it’s both. NWA and Ice T influenced kids in the suburbs by glamorizing stories about what they saw in their inner city reality. If 2 Live Crew and the Beastie Boys created a monster, NWA was creating a legion of monsters. Hip-hop had now become a talented yet ugly combination of sexual perversion and violence. The members of NWA would feel the full force of this monster several years after their humble beginning when Eazy E died just a short time after finding out that he had full blown AIDS and Dr. Dre found himself in the middle of a violent feud between two different record labels on two different coasts that would end with the death of each label’s biggest star.

The deaths of Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G. changed rap music. People were tired of the drama and just wanted to dance. Sean Combs was more than happy to give them something to dance to. Around this time, the city of Atlanta seemed to emerge from Miami’s shadow and came into its own as a hip-hop epicenter with home grown talent like Outkast and Goodie Mob that gave the world an original sound without a lot of the gangsta angst but with plenty of misguided sexuality.

Of course, the Christian music industry was along for the ride and, as usual, driving in circles in the cultural cul-de-sac. The first Christian rap to hit stores was called Bible Break and it was performed by a man named Stephen Wiley. You wont find Bible Break on anyone's top 50 songs of all-time list. The opening line, “Praise the Lord for goodness sake, we’re all gonna take a Bible break” instantly made the guy who wrote Kurtis Blow’s Basketball look like Robert Frost. Wait, Stephen Wiley was the guy who wrote Basketball. Nevermind.

With very few exceptions, Christian hip-hop continued to market unoriginal and poorly produced duplicates of what had already come and gone in the mainstream market. I’m sure that today (July 19, 2011) there’s a guy sitting in some office in Nashville getting ready to market a hot new Christian ska band that sounds a lot like The Deftones. Most early Christian rap music either sounded like something from a CBS Afterschool Special (Middle aged dudes who know the Bible and fight crime and have tons of funky dancers following them around) or a weird combination of science fiction and bad theology (slaying demons with a KJV 66, shoving a microphone down Satan’s windpipe). While mainstream hip-hop was soaring in production quality and talent its message was taking a nose-dive. For the most part, Christian hip-hop was crashing upon take-off.

Last week, our church led a ministry that we call The Three One Nine. The Three One Nine is a summer day camp that we do every year with our local housing authority. We play games, do crafts, eat food and share the gospel with families in this community, in hopes of building a bridge between our two cultures for the glory of Christ and the growth of his kingdom. Hip-hop is a big part of our ministry. We don’t learn raps about Moses Malone or shooting kids from the other neighborhoods but we use a new strand of quality hip-hop to help us present the gospel message. We listen to this guy named PRo rap about how Christ is King and another guy named Lecrae rap about joy in Christ. I smile every year when I see 12-year-old black kids and 60 something year old white ladies dancing together to the same song.

God is using hip-hop for his glory. This is primarily seen through ministries like Reach Records and Lampmode that distribute quality music and even teaching curriculum that is centered around Jesus Christ. As you can imagine, there are some Christians who, when they think of hip-hop, immediately think of NWA and 2 Live Crew and are, therefore, staunchly opposed to something as seemingly contradictory as holy hip-hop. (In case you haven’t been paying attention to the last 2000 years of history, this is nothing new for some Christians. Other easy targets of their disapproval include but are not limited to: guitars, organs, blue jeans, double piercings in one ear, funny stories and Mickey Mouse.) Ironically, these opponents publish their views by using a medium (the Internet) that almost from its birth has been used to distribute pornography. How dare they?! Down with the Internet!

On the last day of our Three One Nine we got to hear from a Christian rapper named Suzy Rock. As I listened to her I couldn’t’ help but think about Stephen Wiley’s Bible Break as well as other rappers like Diddy (Diddy was once known as P. Diddy and before that Puff Daddy and before that Sean Combs. If you are a rapper and you have more than one name you are legit.) I thought about how far this medium has gone in the wrong direction and how God is now using it for the growth of his kingdom. As I listened to Suzy Rock share about growing up with a dad who was hooked on cocaine I thought of all of the kids in our ministry who share the same story. As I listened to her tell about ultimately finding her identity not in cars or men or looks but in Christ I prayed that the girls and young women in our ministry would one day be able to share in that same identity through faith and repentance in Christ.

And I also thought about when I was in the sixth grade, standing on my church’s playground with friends, saying lines from the Beastie Boy’s Paul Revere. Little did I know then that this new thing called rap would stick around for a few more decades and that God would allow me to see him use it to speak his truth into the lives of a whole new generation of kids.