Friday, September 2, 2011

2011 Football Forecast

Sports Illustrated writer Peter King predicted this week that the Atlanta Falcons will beat the San Diego Chargers to win Super Bowl XLVI. This is already a big win for both franchises. I hope Peter King is right but just in case, there’s already talk of a victory parade through downtown Atlanta sometime this weekend. The whole premature celebration thing almost worked out for the Miami Heat and at this point, Atlanta sports franchises will take any championship they can get, real or predicted.

Here are a few more things you can expect from the upcoming college and pro football seasons.

A Big Year For Notre Dame

Traditional powerhouses like Alabama, Florida and Ohio State will not do well this season. By that I mean that they may lose three games. But a three loss season is just what it takes to get The Fightin’ Irish into the national title picture. In fact, there is a better than 75% chance that Notre Dame will be the first team in the history of college football to lose three games, make it to the national title game, lose that game too and still win the national championship. You heard it here first.

A Bad Year For The ACC

By midseason Florida State, Clemson and Virginia Tech will announce their departure from the conference for the greener pastures of the SEC. Maryland, North Carolina and Duke will petition the NCAA to make basketball a year round sport. Georgia Tech will eliminate its athletic department all together in order to focus more time and money on getting really good at College Jeopardy. The Miami Hurricanes will take their considerable resources and experience with them and join the Taliban. They will still be suspended for the first six months of their membership.

A Bad Year For Kirk Herbstreit Takes A Turn For The Better

The Ohio State Buckeyes will have a bad year and fire new head coach Luke Fickell midway through the season. Following a legend like Jim Tressell never works out well but when you have a name like Luke Fickell it turns out even worse. The usually fair and balanced Herbstreit will not take this well and will not shy away from making his frustrations publicly known. By about the third game of the season, Herby will be named as Fickell’s replacement. He will keep his jobs as an analyst on ESPN College Gameday and color commentator for ABC’s Saturday night game.

And Speaking Of ESPN’s College Gameday

They will continue making dudes cry. Each week, you can expect a story that starts off a little something like this.

The University of Memphis’ unofficial mascot was an old mutt affectionately named Scooter. Scooter showed up at practice one day and never seemed to leave, until the day that The US Army requested his services for their bomb patrol unit in Iraq. Although Scooter never made it back from his call of duty, his spirit stuck around the Memphis locker room to help one player who was told that he’d never play football again.

And The Final Score Of Your 2011-2012 National Championship Game Is…

…Georgia 34, Florida State 31.

(But watch out for Notre Dame.)

A League Of Their Own

Over in the pros, ESPN will petition the NFL to make the Dallas Cowboys play the New York Giants every game of the season. This petition will be granted but both teams will still somehow find a way to go 3 and 13 on the season.


I have no idea who the Lions are playing on Thanksgiving Day but I can tell you two things.

1. I will ramble on and on all morning to my sons about how much of an important tradition this game is.

2. By the second quarter when the score is Detroit 3, _________ 42, I'll ask them if they want to watch Veggie Tales instead.

And the Final Score of Super Bowl XLVI Is…

…the Atlanta Falcons 21, the Baltimore Ravens 17.

(But again, watch out for Notre Dame.)

No comments:

Post a Comment