Thursday, October 27, 2011

In Defense of Barn Party USA

I made Louisville, Kentucky my home for a couple of years.  During that time there were a few things I could count on.

1.  Around April 15, sports talk radio stations would start breaking down the upcoming college basketball season.  Yes, that’s about a week after the old college basketball season just ended and maybe another six months before the new one starts.

2.  Any given week, you could count on either 12 inches of snow or a 75 mph wind from out of nowhere.  Either way, you can forget about having any power for the next two or three days.

3.  Every Saturday night at 10:00, no matter who was at my house or whatever else was going on, my TV was locked on the local cable access channel for Barn Party USA.

Barn Party USA was basically the same thing every week.  The Reed Brothers Band hosted the show from a different record store/truck stop/Waffle House each week.  In between interviews with record store owners/truck drivers/Waffle House cooks we were treated to a continuous loop of music videos from The Reed Brothers Band.  One of those videos was for a song called Guns Already Drawn.  It was my favorite.

At first glance you’ll be tempted to think that this video, and by default every other video from The Reed Brothers Band, is a poorly produced vehicle for name recognition by some ignorant weekend musicians. 

Not so fast.

The Reed Brothers are geniuses.  I can’t tell you one artist or group that has won a Video Music Award but it’s been three years since I lived in Louisville and I’m still talking about The Reed Brothers Band.  In fact, last week a friend sent me a message that said, “I heard you’re gonna need fresh horses.”  I knew immediately that he was referring to another video by The Reed Brothers Band. 

Pure marketing genius on the part of The Reed Brothers Band.

Oh, but you want proof.  Well sit back, relax and enjoy Guns Already Drawn by The Reed Brothers Band.  Again, the name of the song is Guns Already Drawn.  I remind you of this in the event that hearing it repeated 73 times during the song just doesn’t do it for you.

0:12 – Some bands wear make-up and flashy costumes[1].  Not The Reed Brothers Band.  I’m pretty sure that the bass player, whom we’ll call Dwayne, just got off of work at some factory and didn’t have time to change clothes.

0:21 – Here we learn that the Reed Brothers are wanted for doing something wrong.  We also learn that the printers back in the old west are better than the one currently in my house.

0:39 – The slow motion effect means that trouble is coming soon.  Wait for it, wait for it…

1:05 – Here it is.  I have no idea what that is.  I’m pretty sure that it’s some woman holding a puppet.  For some reason they’re not happy.  In fact, it appears as though the woman is being killed by the puppet.  What this has to do with guns already being drawn is still a mystery.

1:14 – In case any terrorists are watching, take note.  Our drummer has an America shirt.  Oh, and he can sing too.  So take that terrorists.

1:23 – I thought she was killed by a puppet. 

1:31 – Here’s a behind the scenes shot of the Reeds in the “studio”.  By studio, I mean large office complex.  I’m pretty sure that this belongs to the factory where Dwayne the bass player works.

1:34 – Notice the woman in the background.

“Ma’am, could you please keep it down?  We’re trying to shoot a video here and we’ve only got the office space for another 15 minutes.”

“I’m just here for my paycheck.”

“Jackie will be with you in a minute but right now she’s holding the camera for us.  Now hush!”

1:47 – Notice the kid’s reflection in the window.   This is frightening.  There are two possibilities here.

Option A: 50 years ago this kid was killed at this very sight and now he’s back to stop the Reeds from filming their video.  I think this happened before on the set of Three Men and a Baby and The Wizard of Oz.

Option B: Poor production.

I’m sure the FBI is on the case.  They’ll get back to us on this.

2:07 – The Reeds are back in the lab.  Look, I’m no Rick Rubin but shouldn’t there be sponges on the wall or something to help with the sound?  Not if you want to sound authentic.  The Reeds are authentic.  The sound of typewriters and women waiting on their paychecks only makes things better.

2:40 – Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.  There’s finally a gun being drawn in the Guns Already Drawn video.  This woman is going to stir up all kinds of trouble in this town.  She’ll kill anything that moves until she gets to the Reeds for one dramatic showdown at the end of the video.

Okay wait.  Never mind all of that.  Did she get shot?  Can’t be.  There’s no blood.  Apparently she pulled a muscle in the bicep of her firing arm.  It looks like this is the last we’ll see of her.

Is this the same one that was mauled by the puppet earlier?  If so, this woman really shouldn’t be around guns, or heavy equipment or the Reeds for that matter.  She’s bad news.

3:07 – The lady waiting for her paycheck now has her purse in her lap.  She’s getting impatient.  The bank closes in 7 minutes.  Maybe we’re finally starting to see where the Guns Already Drawn storyline is heading.

3:30 – Someone is being hung for something.  You should notice that the person about to be put to death is not one of the Reeds.  A huge miscarriage of justice is about to go down.

3:38 – But our soon to be dead criminal doesn’t seem too worried.  He’s still able to give a nice nod to the ladies.

3:58 – Best hideout ever!

4:05 – Worse hideout ever!  And another pulled muscle.

Here’s what we’ve learned?  If you’re in a band and you want to make a music video, don’t let the lack of a good budget and the lack of a good story line stop you.  If you can just somehow find a way to get it on TV there’s a good chance that three years later some idiot will be writing a blog about it in the middle of the night.

[1] KISS and Rascal Flatts.  More so Rascal Flatts.

No comments:

Post a Comment